I realize that it somewhat vain to put what amounts to a personal ad on a webpage, but this is my site and I can do it if I wanna.
I would very much like a pet girl, a slave, to call my own.  I've wanted one since I was a child.  I've been searching for many years now and still haven't found what I'm seeking.  The need to possess, own, and control has always been there.  I now have the freedom to indulge myself and try to make some of my dreams come true.

First, I'm not writing this to titillate libidos- this isn't an erotic fantasy.. those are on another page.  This isn't a game to me (not that it isn't fun), and I'm very serious about it.  I want somebody REAL.  I want a live-in, 24/7, long-term (and possibly permanent) pet.  Sorry, I'm just not looking for males or tg's, or anyone with dependent children.  This isn't just some fantasy for me, not some kinky sex play- this is who I am and this is how I live my day-to-day life.  Life, not simply lifestyle.  It is as natural to me as sleeping and eating, and I can't imagine living any other way.  I'm going to put a lot of general info on this page in hopes that the right girl will happen to read it and identify with it, and then we can get down to knowing each other better.

I'd like to be very clear from the outset:  I'm looking for a slave.  A consensual slave, but a slave nonetheless.  So that there's no misunderstanding, I'll describe just what that means to me.  A slave is someone who chooses to give herself completely to another.  After that very serious decision is made, she is owned property.  Not in a legal sense, of course, but in every other way.  Her owner has the power to control each and every aspect of her life.  She no longer has rights, but she may be allowed a great number of privileges.. which can be removed at will by her owner.  She is entitled to nothing, not even personal possessions.  She isn't allowed to place conditions or terms or limits.  She doesn't get to say "I will give myself to you totally... but only on these days and only if it involves these activities."  Her owner reserves the right to do anything with her at any time.  She may be given a huge deal of autonomy or she may have none at all-- it's not for her to decide, either way.  Serving her owner, pleasing her owner, obeying her owner, and making her owner's life easier is her purpose.  Everything else is secondary.  Some of this may sound unfair, but slavery isn't about being fair.  It's about being enslaved.

Think of it like having a pet.  As a good and responsible pet owner, you should take good care of it and see that it's healthy.  You can cherish your pet, love it, consider it an indispensable part of your life.  But you certainly don't view the pet as your equal.  It's your possession, your property.  You control its world.  Whether your pet is happy or not is not for your pet to decide.  You decide.  It's your pet.  Of course, we're talking about a pet girl, which is infinately more valuable and versatile than any animal, but the concept remains the same.  It doesn't mean you're subhuman or anything.  It means you're a girl... who is owned.

I'm not looking for a kinky girlfriend, lover, wife, or part-time plaything.  You won't be my partner or equal, but you won't want for attention, you will be my most valued possession, and you will have my heart.  As my slave, you will be nothing more or less than anything I desire you to be at a given time:  doll, slut, mannequin, friend, toy, maid, art, laborer, ashtray, servant, companion, or any number of other things.  You will be a tool through which I enact my will.  I will mold you to be whatever I want you to be.  As my slave, you will not have the right to have any possessions or money.. you may have the privelege of having such, but only because I've allowed you to have them, not because you have a right to them.  You will have no right to privacy, and keeping secrets is unthinkable.  You'll learn whatever skills you need to learn to better serve me.  You'll eat what you're told, you'll wear what you're told, you'll do what you're told.  "No" will not be in your vocabulary, at least not when it comes to me giving you orders.  I'm not so interested in intense micromanagement:  you'll not usually have to ask permission to move or go pee or what-have-you, unless given express orders otherwise.  I'm also not big on social isolation.  While I may isolate you from people I consider a negative influence on you, I'm not interested in having you cut all ties.  Family is important.  I might even order you to take a vacation and visit your family and friends on a regular basis.

All of that said, a potential slave has every right to know what kind of a person I am and what her slavery might entail.  That's largely what this page is about.  No one should give herself to the first person that comes along.  First off, despite my beliefs and desires, which some might find bizarre or extreme, I'm not some abusive whacko.  I'm actually a very nice person!  Anyone who has known me for any length of time would probably agree.  I'll even give character references, if asked. 

While I reserve the right to do whatever I wish with my pet girl, that doesn't mean I'm going to do whatever could be done just because I can.  I don't want a miserable, broken, abused slave.  I don't want that kind of energy around me.  I'm of the "If you break your toys, you can't play with them anymore" school of thought.  I don't want a shattered toy.  I want a happy, cheerful girl!  I would take great pleasure in seeing my girl happy and enjoying herself... as long as she understands she can't expect to be happy all the time (or even have the right to be happy, at all).  I'd like her to have her own desires, ideas, or opinions which she may present.  I'll take them into consideration and may accept or reject them.  Just because I'm your owner doesn't mean rational negotiation and discussion is impossible, but... my decisions are final in all things, and there should be no arguments or pouting.  Complaints will be ignored, and continued complaints will irritate me, and you don't want that.

I'd like to say that this isn't all about sex for me.  Sex is, of course, is sometimes a big part of it and there's sure to be plenty of it, but it's only a part of the larger picture.  It's a girl's willing submission to her own enslavement and her desire to please that entices me the most.  I want to own everything you are, to possess you, to crawl inside your mind.  I'm not looking for a random, warm hole.. I'm looking for a slave who will warm my heart.  I want someone to be my companion, a pet I can take with me to go shopping, or on a walk through the park, who will make me laugh, and to hold while watching movies.  I'm also a private person and will, at times, want to be left alone.  It would help if you can easily amuse yourself and not feel neglected when you're not being smothered with attention.  I'll be glad to get you most anything to help keep you occupied, but only as long as it please me to do so.

Naturally, I would like a servant.  Actually, there's not all that much to be done around here and things like housework shouldn't take much time at all in any given week, unless there's some big project needing to be done.  I'm neither a neat total freak nor a slob; I'm happy as long as things are generally kept clean and tidy.  That won't be too terrible, will it?  I know it's hard to constantly serve someone else and anticipate their needs, but you get used to it and it becomes easier.  Of course, I don't just want you for your cleaning ability.  If I just wanted a maid, I'd hire one.  Yours won't be a life of unending drudgery like a fairytale step-daughter.  That said, I don't want someone who will quickly grow to resent this sort of thing because it doesn't involve play.  It's just plain old real life stuff and needs to be attended to, and you'll be the one to do it, not me.  It's part of your job as a slave.  You should crave to please your owner in every possible way, whether the job is erotic or domestic.. whether it's performing orally or mowing the lawn.  The happier I am, the happier you should be.  I will appreciate the work you do for me, and don't underestimate how much even your most seemingly mundane efforts can please me.

As for appearance.. well, who wouldn't want a life-size doll to dress up any way they wished?  I'll be in control of how you look and dress, all according to my whims.  You'll be my warm, cuddly mannequin.  I'll make you appear however I want, even if you don't much like it; your opinions in this matter carry little weight.  It doesn't matter what other people will think of you, just be concerned with what I think of you.  Be happy that you have no say, that you can please me so greatly by simply submitting to this small thing, and that you have these sorts of decisions taken out of your hands.  I may dress you up glamorous, cute and stylish, in workout clothes, slutty or trashy, goth, like a little girl, fetishy, or even just dirty, second-hand clothes.  My interests range all over.  You might find yourself dressed in latex, or all in girdles, or in some full-body lycra zentai suit.  I'll have your hair cut, styled, bleached, or colored however I want.  If I choose to dress you in something uncomfortable, you'll just have to get used to it.  For instance, I've always wanted a rubber doll- I may cover you head to toe in latex and have you wear it until it feels as natural to you as your bare skin.  Yes, you'd be sweaty, but you'd look so cute.

I think the restrained female form is one of the most beautiful sights in nature.  It's not simply erotic, it's awe-inspiring.. like a sunset.  I'm would prefer someone who loves the feeling of being restrained.  I want someone who can happily zone out while bound to a chair or the bed for a few hours.  I also enjoy mummification, so you'll have to learn to enjoy that level of immobilization and helplessness, if you don't already.  I want you to learn to be comfortable enough in bondage that you'll be able to sleep all night while moderately bound if I want, or be able to stand bound somewhere nearby so I can enjoy you as a piece of art.  You can expect to spend a lot of time in helmets and hoods, be they lycra, steel, or latex.. and especially panty hoods.  You should also get used to remaining gagged for long periods, and to spending days at a time in some form of mobile restraint such as locked cuffs.  All of these things may be physically difficult, at first, but your endurance for them will increase in time.  I have two cages at the moment, so you will certainly be spending time locked in those.  I'm aching to try keeping someone locked in a cage for longer periods.  Then you'd really be like a pet.

However, don't expect me to keep you permanently locked up.  A certain degree of honor will have to be used when I'm not home.  I don't want to leave someone with no chance of escape, such as locked in a cage, if an emergency would happen.  It's important to keep things as safe as possible, and I don't wish to risk undo harm to my valued property.  Also, I'm not going to keep you permanently restrained to prevent you from ever running away.  If you have that fantasy, put it out of your head.  Consensual slavery is internal, it's something you choose, not something you're forced to do.  If you truly wish to leave, go.  I don't want anyone around me who I have to force to stay with me.

Let's talk about hard limits.  You have none.  Yes, that's right:  none.  Limits are limitations--conditions--which you place on me, and that is not allowed.  That said, I do care... I will definately want to know of all your perceived limits.  I want to know what is a mild "Eww, that's gross, I don't wanna do that!" kind of limit, and what is a "Please, don't make me do that, it'll destroy me" kind of limit for you.  Depending what they are, it's quite possible they will never become an issue.  Trust is of utmost importance, and I want you to trust me.  Again, just because I can have you do something doesn't mean I ever will.  I'm obviously not going to order you to do something illegal, for example.  If it's something that needs to be worked on, we will do so carefully, with a mind to your ongoing mental state and possible past traumas and phobias.

You should be open to receiving a certain amount of pain.  I especially enjoy caning and paddling, spanking, scratching and biting, and breast, mouth and genital torture.  The severity is negotiable to a degree, but you should be open to having your pain limits stretched.  I'm not interested in making your waking life a constant agony, not at all.. though I could if I wanted.  I'm not a huge sadist, and I'd more often rather watch you orgasming helplessly than hurting.. but when I want to hurt you, I will have the freedom to do so.  Sometimes for fun, sometimes as punishment.  I'm not at all squeamish about inflicting a great deal of pain on a girl.  It's fun.  I'm not psycho, though, or some abusive person.  I don't want you to feel abused- above all I want you to feel special, and loved, and owned.. although occasionally feeling humiliated, dehumanized, and sometimes suffering for me is another matter entirely.  Above all, I'll value you all the more for what you endure for my pleasure. 

I'm not much into public humiliation, so you needn't be too concerned about that if it frightens you.  I don't have plans of leading you down the street on a leash or anything like that.  You might be embarrassed by some of the clothes you'd have to wear sometimes (like, wondering if the diapers you're wearing are visible under your pants), but little more than that.  In private, however, I'll humiliate and degrade you as much as I please.  I might slap you or spit on you, but not in a mean way.  I may have you act like an animal and eat from a bowl, piss your pants on command, act like a bimbo, be a toilet or ashtray, or whatever else amuses me at the time.  You may not always enjoy what you have to do, but you can learn to love having so little control over yourself.  For example, depending on chemistry, I might be intoxicated by the scent of your sweat.  I'm a very scent-oriented person.  I might order you not to bathe for several days just to enhace my pleasure of you.  You might feel disgusting, you might not enjoy it, but you'll do it.. and I'll be proud of you for being obedient, and you'll feel good for having pleased your owner.  There's no reason to be embarrassed, really, not in front of me.. every humiliating or disgusting act I have you do can only increase my affection for you.  I'll also want you to satisfy various non-D/s-related fetishes of mine, of which I have many, many.  And I love to take pictures.. maybe I'll make a website just about you.  Wouldn't that be fun?

Now, concerning body mods.  I may wish to do some things to you that will be a part of you for the rest of your life.  I need someone who is both willing and psychologically able to deal with this sort of thing.  There are many changes I could work on you, and I can't list them all since so many depend on who you are and what I want to do once I get to know you.  And I won't rush into anything permanent right away.  I'll only consider it once we've been together for a long while and only after you have given yourself completely as my slave.  Also, I don't want to do anything to you that will cause you harm.. pain, maybe, but not harm.  If it ends up that something can't be done safely then I won't do it.  And I don't want to turn you into some freak.. just enhance you a bit in my eyes.

Some of the things I may want to do are semi-permanent.  I might have you pierced and ringed a little or a lot.  I might put you through long term corset training.  I may have you excersize and be very fit, or I might make you gain weight until you're plumped up.  Other things I could do are more permanent, but not too unusual.  For instance, I could have your lips pumped with collagen, or decorate you with tattoos.  If you don't smoke already, you probably will.  It's very possible that I may give you breast implants, since I like that look.  I could make your breasts so large that they become an encumbrance, like a constant bondage, and everyone will assume you're a stripper.  I might have your pubic hair permanently removed, or I might shave your head bald.  There are many other things that can be done, and as I said, I may end up not wanting to change you much at all.  I simply reserve the right.  I'm going to have so much fun with you, sweetness, and with the body that you used to think of as your own.

Compatibility of personalities is an important issue.  No relationship will last long without chemistry, and nobody plays 24/7 around the clock (one can be a slave 24/7, but that is a state of mind, not a momentary state of being whipped or bound).  I want someone I can get along with and who makes me happy to have around.  I do not want someone who is passive aggressive or likes to fight and argue.. no drama, no secrets, no lies.  I don't need that in my life.  Nor do I want a brat who behaves badly for attention (you will not enjoy the kind of attention that behavior gets), and I'm not interested in someone who is constantly trying to wrest control from me.  You gave me control.  You made that decision.  It's mine, now. 

One reason we need to get along well is because we'll be spending so much time together.. there may be periods when I'm your only human contact.  Like if you're in some long-term restraint, confined in a cage, or required to wear a rubber suit for a week or so, well, obviously you won't be going out socializing during that time.  If you're looking for an a-type personality or a dominant who struts around marking the territory wherever they go, look elsewhere.  I'm very subtle in my dominance.  I speak softly and expect to be obeyed, period.  I'm partial to quiet, shy types since I myself am quiet, soft-spoken, and, yes, shy.  I'm extremely comfortable not being the center of attention.  I'm rather silly most of the time.  You must have a very good sense of humor, the sillier or stranger the better.  If you can make me laugh, you'll win a place in my heart. 

You need to be able to relocate (unless by some insane chance you already live in Little Rock).  I'm offering you a place where you can be yourself and indulge your needs and desires in safety and security.  I will provide for you, as you will be my slave and I want to care for you and give you things that I want you to have when I'm feeling indulgent, but I'm not your sugarmommy and have no interest in spoiling you (I won't be showering you with expensive gifts and baubles so look elsewhere for that kind of thing).  I might have you work outside the home if need be.. or I might not.  If so, I will decide where and when you work.  Having the skills to work from home is certainly a plus in this situation.  I do want you to have as little to worry about as possible so that you'll be able to focus on pleasure and slavery.  I want you to be able to be as care free as possible so that you can explore being your true self and serve me better (but having few worries doesn't mean being a slave isn't very hard work).  If you have specific fantasies of your own that are realistic and agreeable to me, I'll do my best to make them come true for you if it's within my power, but don't come into this with any demands of such.  I'll shower you with affection and pamper you when I want.. bathe you and brush your hair, tuck you into bed and cuddle you and tell you what a good girl you are and tell you that you're mine, mine, all mine.  I want you to be as fulfilled as a human pet can possibly be.  I want to make you as happy as you'll make me.  You will be my most precious pet, my foul little beast-thing, my caged slave-princess, and I won't give you up for anything.

Now, one might be fair in asking what qualifies me as Domme or Mistress.  The honest answer is: nothing, really.  It is essentially a title that one assumes, whether they are qualified or not.  There is no dominant diploma or committee vote for the position.    Some have been doing this for far longer than I, and have a great deal more experience.  I've never actually owned a real consensual slave before, so much of this will be a whole new experience for me.  There will be some trials and errors, through which we can learn and grow together.  I have, however, been a live-in servant (though not quite a slave) in the past, so I do have that experience to grow from.  I've been very active in the D/s community for over a decade, and have seen, done, and learned many things.  I may be silly, but I'm also mature and responsible.. and owning a human is an enormous responsibility.  And I can say that I know what I want, I have realistic goals, that I have the desire and will to be someone's owner, and that I'm not a mean or abusive person.. well, not in a bad way. 

I realize this has been somewhat lengthy, but I'm an honest and straight-forward kind of person and I don't want to misrepresent myself.  If you've read this whole thing and suffered through my run-on sentences and ellipses, well, you must either be a true masochist or somewhat interested.  If you are interested in this kind of life and believe you're what I'm looking for, by all means, reply.. but only if you're serious.  The decision to be anyone's absolute slave may be the most important and far-reaching decision you ever make in your life.. and may well be the last real decision you're allowed to make for yourself.  We'll get to know each other.  Just be aware I'll want proof of your reality before I we start to get involved- I've been jerked around far too often, and I am not interested in an online relationship.  Game-playing will not be tolerated. 

If you really want to know more about me, I suggest you check out this page, if you haven't done so already, as it goes into a little more 'about me' than what I'll bother with here.  You might also want to look at my Live Journal.. it gives a little insight about my inner workings and such.  My stories elsewhere on this site also give a glimpse into my inner workings.  I strongly suggest that if you're really interested in what I've written here, then you should look into these resources before contacting me.  You might find things that you don't like that will turn you away, or maybe things that make you all the more intrigued.  After all, you should do as much research as you can about a person before you go telling them you want to belong to them, don't you think?

As for contacting me, my email contact info is here.  You can also try sending a mail to evildolly on collarme.com.  Just start by telling me about yourself and why you think I could be the right owner for you and we'll take it from there.  I hope my special angel finds this soon.

Erika